Sunday, August 3, 2014

Get The German Out

I'm back again! Working on a new story - at least in English. I've decided to go for option 5 - rewrite a story I've written in German. It was my first story and somehow I think, rewriting it will also improve the story - mainly based on the assumption that I should have gotten better in the meantime with all the practice.

The story is about August, a good hearted family father, who stumbles through a near future world where big data is abused by big corporate to sort out unprofitable customers. But its more than that, government is involved too, until a small incident tips the first domino stone over and August has to decide on which side he stands.

Well, so much for the elevator pitch, but before working on that one, I need to get the German out of the story.

Let me give you an example of the first lines translated word by word: 

"He knew this was his last day. The night had broken and on the horizon only a small sickle of afterglow testified of the past day. He could see the lights already since a while, they came to get him, soon they would be here. From his cabin he was able to see far. Right in front he could see Lago Argentino, that is he could see it, but know there was only a big black spot. On the right, the white of the Perito Moreno glacier was glaring."

Do you see, what I mean? The comma rules are different, so I will have to rewrite the sentences. Additionally, terms like "the night had broken" or "afterglow testified of the past day" might sound perfectly right in German, but for an English version I need to find more suitable expressions. Also, there are other expressions, that just don't work.

Doing that for a whole story is a piece of work. But it's also fun and by the end I'm pretty sure the other story has rested enough.

Happy rewriting
Your writer in a foreign land

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