Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Midweek teaser: Find All Errors in the Dialog

The next two Sundays I'll write about the 100 ways to say say, good dialog vs. bad dialog and dialog in real live vs writing dialog.
Find all errors in the following dialog as a little warm-up:

"Good morning." Said Walter.

"Good morning." Replied Henry a bit reserved.

"How are you, Henry? Long time not seen." 

"Quite well, but why haven't you called back last week, when I left you a message?" Asked Henry angrily. 

"I was very busy at work," Mumbled Walter.

"It was important," Snapped Henry. "I needed your help for an idea I had to come up with for the ceremony at church. They want me to lead the ticket sales for the raffle. We need to make 40 grand and this means we need to sell two thousand tickets. And I don't know how I can sell all these tickets. They were not very pleased about my ideas I presented them last meeting. By the way, why are you not on the committee this year and why have you not been in church all these weeks, Walter?"

"That is none of your business!" Yelled Walter at Henry.

"The priest was looking for you." Quoted Henry. "And sure this is his business. Anyway, what does Wilma say to this. Your wife was always so firm about church, she wouldn't want to miss one Sunday." Added Henry

"She ... is ... not that well." Stuttered Walter

"What is wrong, Walter?" Inquired Henry.

Happy revising
Your writer in a foreign land

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